I’m So Sick of the Pundits and Radio Show Hosts

This is rant-worthy. Some parents are afraid of what our sitting president may say to schoolchildren across the nation. He is to give a speech on the topics of education and personal goals and some parents are afraid their precious, easily indoctrinated children will be damaged by the content of this speech. Those people should go to  this site  and read about the content of the speech and see the lesson plans for themselves.  It’s about staying in school, making goals for yourself, and keeping yourself accountable to those goals. How is it possible that a bunch of pundits and ranting radio show hosts (whose only goal is to be as controversial as possible because it sells their latest book) can turn something so good into something that frightens people almost as much as sex education? This is ridiculous. All over the nation African-American children are dropping out of school at rates as high as 75%. We NEED our president to tackle this subject and tackle it hard.  I want my children to hear this speech and if they don’t I will download a copy and show it to them myself. And remember this the next time you worry about what your children see and hear – Nothing affects them as much as what their parents say and do.  Grab a mirror and give it some thought.

It’s Been a Long Time Coming

Yes, I’m back to posting. It’s like back-to-school. Daughter is doing 8th grade in a private school – Son is doing 8th grade in an urban K-8 public school. Different strokes for different kids. We gave them very long leashes this summer and they proved themselves able to handle the freedom. They kept us informed of their whereabouts. Obeyed the rules (wear your helmet, no visitors without an adult home). We checked up on them from time to time and they were good. They had some real adventures this summer.

They explored the very old, huge and creepy Oakwood Cemetery in the neighborhood with their friends. They investigated an old abandoned chapel there and read the weathered civil war era headstones. They told each other scary stories to see who would freak out and pedal home first. Eventually they were chased out of the cemetery – like kids every summer for the past 100+ years. It’s a rite of passage.

My son and his buddies investigated an very large neighborhood drainage pipe. It runs a few hundred feet under some woods in the park and just funnels storm water into a holding pond. I asked it anyone brought a flashlight and the reply was, “We have our cellphones – duh!” Times have changed, but kids haven’t. I just cautioned them against going in it during rainy days. I knew eventually they’d have to investigate it.

We live on a divided street with a small brook in the middle and I’ve seen kids going down it in canoes, ducking their heads through the underpasses. I suppose that will be next summer now that my son has a kayak. . . . .

Back to School

Due to a number of factors too exhausting to list my son re-entered public school this week.

We have hopes for this program. Unlike the school he was in previously, this school uses a block schedule. A block schedule is one in which the child has his core classes 2 -3 times per week on alternating days. The classes are 80 minutes instead of 40 minutes.

We think this will work better for our son. He has ADD and learning disabilities and the fewer transitions he has during the day the better. He is very easily distracted by both external and internal disturbances. There is an awful lot going on in his brain that he will not or cannot express.

This school has a strong administrative team and good discipline. The guidance counselor is on the ball. The school itself seems calm when you enter it.

They use a program called Fast ForWord, which is rather controversial. On the web you will find that it is either useless or a miracle, depending on the information source. I am anxious to see what my son thinks of it and observe for myself whether it seems to help him.

I will continue to blog on parenting and education. I may not be homeschooling for the foreseeable future but I will continue to be very involved in my childrens’ education.  My daugher has one more year of private school ahead of her and then both will enter the neighborhood public high school.  It will be and interesting couple of year ahead!

Resource and Resources

We’re trying something different. The district offered us resource services at a small, nearby PK-8 school. My son goes in three times a week for 80 minute classes designed to provide him with strategies for writing and math. The school is on a block schedule, which I firmly believe is much better for an ADD child than the usual schedule of every class every day. The fewer transitions during the day the better for him. Changing classes every 40 minutes is too much distraction, too much time wasted.

My son has FAE and I’ve heard kids like him described as “Ten second people in a one second world.” It’s very true. He is just as smart as any other kids but he needs a few more second to think before he answers a question. He needs to stop and thing carefully about a word problem before he does his calculations. He needs to check all his work thoroughly. A lot of times he simply needs to be given an chance.

I haven’t had much time to write lately but I’m still here and we’ve discovered some more great resources along the way. I purchased a copy of Joy Hakim’s book “A History of US, The New Nation 1789-1850.” I can see why it has won awards. It tells history as what it is, a story, instead of a bunch of facts. Some of the language is a bit difficult for my son but that’s ok, we read it togther. It’s interesting and helps the student understand the motivations of the historical figures, not just their accomplishments. It makes them real people.

I haven’t gotten a chance yet to really investigate this but it looks fantastic. It is a game designed to help kids in middle and high school understand the many facets of engineering. It is called Time Engineers. I learned about it from my husband’s subscription to Electronic Engineering Times. I’m going to take a closer look and report back.

Next time I’ll have some comments on kids and Facebook!

Make a great day!

How to Improve Reading Scores

I had to post this link to this story by E.D Hirsch Jr. in the NY Times Op/Ed section today. As the mother of two children, neither of whom is an outstanding reader, this makes so much sense to me.

My son often has trouble with test questions that require background knowledge outside his curriculum. They distract him by offering irrelevant scenarios and he misses the point of the question entirely. It is grossly unfair to ask questions requiring knowledge of a specific sport, or game, or hiking trail. My suburban/country kids are sometimes confounded by questions involving subway trains and “blocks” walked. In our neck of the woods it’s more likely to be miles than blocks.

We need to test our children on what they’ve been taught in class, in their curriculum. Anything else is grossly unfair.

Is common sense finally going to return to education so that we can quit raising a generation of test takers? I can only hope that it is.

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) and Education

I’ve been asked about the changes in my son’s IEP and why the school did not catch things earlier (they actually did) . . . SO. . . lets give a timeline.

We adopted my children from Russia when they were toddlers. They displayed no outward signs of FASD and in fact were pronounced healthy by Dr. Jane Aronson, a famous adoption specialist. My son received early intervention services for speech and occupational therapy at age 3-4. Once he got into kindergarten those services continued but by 2nd grade he no longer needed the OT. He had intense tantrums on a regular basis which lasted for hours and exhausted us. He would kick the wall, destroy furniture and bite and hit himself.

His first grade teacher noticed problems. My son had a very difficult time reading and recongnizing patterns of any sort. Be they colored beads, numbers, or letters on a page, he could not recognize and repeat a pattern.  1st grade is where you really learn to read and he was just not learning. He was evaluated and labeled “LD Specific Language Disorder”. This entitled him to “resource” starting in 2nd grade. Resource is small group tutoring either in or out of the classroom. His behavior was sometimes baffling. There was a Thanksgiving play in the classroom and we eagerly attended. He had one line and he was clearly anxious to deliver it. When it was his turn he ran and hid under a desk and began crying and hitting himself. What we did not understand at the time was that due to his working memory problems he forgot his line and panicked. I look back and I feel so sad for him.

Unfortunately he had a diving accident and shattered his femur, spending half of 2nd grade in a wheelchair with first an external fixator on his leg and and then in a body cast. His tantrums worsened. This injury, combined with his LD ,caused him to repeat 2nd grade – luckily with a wonderful, very special teaching team. This also caused him to be in the same grade with his sister.

Third grade was ok, his teacher was frustrated by him but he seemed happy and appeared to be learning. His services continued. So did his intense tantrums. He was briefly placed on an anti-depressant and and anti-anxiety medication.

Fourth grade was not ok. Not at all.  His teacher refused to follow his IEP. He was tested in class instead of separately with someone to read him the questions. He was required to read out loud in front of the class. He came home every day and completely “lost it” the moment he stepped through the door. He began to act up in order to be sent to the principal’s office every day just before the “read out loud” part of class. He preferred to get into trouble than read in front of the class. I tried meeting with the teacher, the principal and the school psychologist. The problems continued. I had two choices – pull him out or go to battle with the school district. I chose to pull him out and homeschool him for the 2nd half of 4th grade. It went very well, he calmed down and began learning. He was happy. I discovered “orthoptics” and took my son for treatment. This involves eye exercises to strengthen the muscles which control the eyes. It worked like a charm and suddenly my son could read. He had been seeing double and was unable to explain it to me due to his language deficits. He was placed on an ADD medication but it was too sedating.

Once again, 5th grade was good. He had an excellent teacher, his services continued, the school went out of their way to please me. My son’s reading steadily improved. We requested that both our children have the same teacher in order to simplify homework and such and it worked out pretty well. Their grades were good. However, my son continued to have intense tantrums at home and auditory and visual hallucinations and he was placed on an anti-psychotic drug. He began seeing a therapist twice a month. We believe now that his hallucintions were stress-induced.

Sixth grade was an utter disaster. The teachers were overwhelmed by changes in the school and administration and that resulted in a loss of discipline and respect within the school. There were fights in class. My son’s resource teacher allowed way to many distractions. Continual disruptions in the classrooms plagued both my children. Their grades and rest results slipped. By the end of the year both of them told me they no longer felt safe at school and they asked us to take them out and let them go somewhere else. How could I leave my children somewhere they did not feel safe?

So – here we are. 7th grade. We placed my daughter in a private school, something I never, ever thought I’d do.  Because of the extra attention she receives there we noticed her learning disabilities, which had previously gone unnoticed in the public school system. She has to work very, very hard for her good grades. The school tutors her after school three days a week in math and Spanish.

My son is homeschooled. He was re-tested for LD and his results changed. I also had him tested by a private educational psychologist and received more detailed information and the FASD diagnosis. He is reading well now due to orthoptics. He has tested out of speech services. His biggest problem now is mathematics. He has a very difficult time with abstract concepts and working memory. He still is not proficient at recognizing patterns. This makes things like learning times tables nearly a pointless effort. We’ve been working on it for three years and he still can’t remember them reliably.  He can perform straight calulations but mathematical thinking is still beyond him. His ability to learn a process, and repeat it the same way every time, is a problem. He has difficulty telling time on an analog clock and difficulty handling money. We have taken him off the anti-psychotic and placed him on a stimulant ADD medication. It seems to be working. He no longer has tantrums or tries to hurt himself.

It’s not that the school didn’t notice. It’s that the schools are not set up to deal with FASD. They treat learning disabilities as things that can be fixed, or at least improved, with enough teaching and drilling. They don’t recognize that kids with FASD may not be able to read facial expressions and social cues. They can’t relieve the anxiety of a child who cannot understand playground interactions  and cannot work in a group. FASD is not something you fix. It is brain damage, not a developmental disorder . These kids need strategies and support, not drilling and standardized testing. They need the kind of individual teaching and loving attention that a public school simply cannot provide.

I wish my son could go back to public or private school. I really do. Homeschooling is a huge responsibility  and although I’ve enjoyed it I don’t see myself teaching chemistry and calculus.

Here is what I’ve learned. We need to listen to these kids because they want to tell you what is wrong but they don’t know how. You need to roll with the punches, you need to realize that many of them hate themselves. They are smart kids whose brains frustrate and embarass them and they don’t know how to cope because they are just kids. They need a calm, stress-free, predictable environment and parents who can remain steady in ridiculous, embarassing situations. They need you to let them feel bad sometimes and have a good cry about their situation but stay near if they need you. They need you to realize that they may repeat a grade, may not graduate on time or finish college in 4 years and may still need your support when their friends are long gone and on their own.

They need you to take care of yourself so you can take care of them. Don’t forget yourself. Take your vitamins, get out sometimes even if you just go to Starbucks all alone and enjoy a latte for an hour.  Excuse yourself, go to your room, and have a good cry. You don’t need to have your kids think you are indestructible. They need to learn that Mom (and Dad) have their limits too. I had no babysitter for years because nobody could deal with my son. I ran away to  Barnes and Noble on a regular basis where I had a latte and cruised the books for an hour or two. It helped. Go to your doctor and explain the situation if it gets to be too much. There is no shame in needing a sleep medication or some Xanax now and then. If your kid is in therapy you may need some therapy too.

Above all – just keep on keeping on. There is a part of me that thinks of all the things that could be different and then there is a part of me that thinks this is what I was put on earth to do. To raise these children. Desiderada says “No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

I try to remember that.

Homeschooling in the Ski Lodge

The kids are on Winter break this week. There has been skiing, socializing, organizing and laziness but no time to write posts! Still, teaching opportunities present themselves.

Last night in the ski lodge my daugher asked me about the Twilight sequel, New Moon, and if they were shooting in Italy. I replied that they were probably doing “pre-production work”. This piqued her interest (and my son’s) and they began asking questions about the movie industry.

We went all through it from producers and investors to distribution rights and promotional item sales. I had no idea I knew much about how the industry works but I just kept dredging up more info. It must be all those trashy magazines I’ve read in doctor’s offices over the years. Anyway, my point is – when you teach something you find out just how much you know about the subject and it’s usually more than you think.

It made me feel good about my ability to teach.

It made me remember another odd circumstance. I was in a restaurant in NYC with my husband’s extended family. A cab caught fire and burned to crisp directly in front of the restaurant windows. This provided hours of entertainment for my young nephews but it also provided a teaching opportunity. I talked my 9 year old nephew through everthing that would take place, from the 911 call to the fire being extinguished to the car’s smoldering carcass being removed to the insurance settlement and the replacement of the cab. The surprising thing is that he was genuinely interested. Kids want to know how things work! These are life skills they’ll need someday.

This is a skill they won’t learn in public school. Our public schools increasingly focus on facts and test prep and memorization skills. That’s not the same thing as thinking skills. Looking back, I learned more from teachers who had conversations with us in class than I ever did from those who lectured. Those conversations left me thinking, they left me curious and were a springboard from which I learned to take the initiative to investigate and teach myself.

Homeschooling provides endless opportunities to each practical thinking skills and you know more than you think you do.

Feel good about it.

Sea Change at the IEP Meeting

We went to my son’s triennial IEP meeting. Present were me, hubby, resource and speech teachers, school psychologist and district people. It was startling to say the least. First – we all agreed that the IEP should me “math and writing disability” and not “language disability”. So that will change. The testing I had done with an independent doctor confirmed and expanded upon the testing performed by the school psychologist. I explained my son’s FAE and ADD diagnosis.

The startling change was the culture. I was offered home-bound instruction (with proper medical excuse). I had previously been strongly discouraged from seeking this, which consists of two hours a day of individual tutoring supplemented by parent instruction. I was previously told my son would never qualify, the district would never agree to it because there was insufficient money to provide itinerant teachers.

I was offered part-time attendance. Part-time attendance is not authorized for homeschoolers by the NYS Regents  but apparently it is available for kids with IEPs who are enrolled in school (again with medical documentation). I had NO idea this was possible.

I was told they are modifying the way they deliver instruction within the school day. Instead of “push-in” in the classroom, or pulling the kids out and having them miss core instruction, they will pull them out in groups during study hall time and tutor them then. This is what my daugher receives at her expensive private school (she is not learning disabled but still needs some help).

Well, hallelujah, common sense and flexibility are reigning supreme in my school district! While I have enjoyed homeschooling my son I DO hope he can eventually return to the public school system. There are advantages there for him at the high school level which would be difficult for me to provide.

There has obviously been a huge change in my school district at the district office level. I sense collaboration among the professionals involved. I sense that my concerns are being taken seriously and people are focusing on my son’s needs and not the inner turmoil within the school district. I sense calm and purpose and an optomistic outlook. There have been changes in the staff at the school and at the district level and they have apparently been a good thing.

For the first time I came away from one of these meetings feeling GOOD and filled with HOPE. What a huge sense of relief I have right now!

Speeding into the Future

My son has a new diagnosis of ADD (among other things) and we have decided to try medication. He does not have ADHD, where he’s a whirling dervish, but ADD. ADD shows in his brain’s executive functioning, the part of his brain that is the overseer/director. We gave him his first dose of stimulant medication this morning and noticed a difference within one hour. He was happier, more awake, more affectionate, and had started packing for a weekend Boy Scout trip without any help from us. He told us that he was able to remember things and get his stuff together.

He crashed five hours later, which is normal. It’s a short-acting drug and they started him on one dose a day, increasing to 2 doses a day on day 4. He became less able to focus, he was sort of down and irritable.

What he is taking is speed. Remember that those of us who grew up in the 70’s? Yup! It’s out there doing good! I was warned that older kids will sell it for pocket money and it has a high street value so we need to keep it in a secure location. I was concerned about dependence but was told that kids who truly need it don’t become dependent and my son is on a low dose.

We all know that some parents are very, very anti-medication when it comes to ADD/ADHD. I’m not, BUT - Get a real diagnosis from a psychiatrist or other mental health professional and don’t expect your family doctor to prescribe these meds. I’m not anti-meds but your child certainly shouldn’t be prescribed medication that he/she may not need! My son’s diagnosis came from a consensus of a psychiatrist, a psychologist, the psychiatric nurse practitioner and a neuro-psych educational testing specialist. My son sees a psychiatric nurse practitioner with a Ph.D. for his meds visits. She is thoroughly versed in all relevent medications and has followed my son’s history for three years. Yup! That’s a whole lot of visits, co-pays, pre-authorizations, parking fees, time off work and general hassle. It’s worth every bit to get a proper diagnosis for my son.

I’m anxious to see how this goes. Optomistic too! It’s nice to feel that way : )

Evolution and “Intelligent Design” in Texas

Yes! A blow has been dealt to the “Intelligent Design” proponents in Texas. I am a big supporter of science education and evolutionary theory. I am a big supporter of freedom of religion. Therefore – teach “intelligent design” (creationism) at church and evolution at school!  (Why evolution can’t be G-d’s plan escapes me.)

It’s the right of public school parents of all faiths to have children taught a solid science curriculum and not someone else’s Christian creationist beliefs.  It is the individual right of parents to teach their children to ignore the commonly accepted scientific theories of the day.

If religious fundamentalists feel so strongly about this they should homeschool or establish parochial schools or simply teach their children to take their science class with a grain of salt. Why do they think their children won’t listen to them? Why to they think mine should?

Sure, I’m sitting here in liberal New York State and this is taking place in Texas so why should I worry myself? Because a similar case happened right next door in Pennsylvania. It’s not just an issue in the “Bible Belt” folks! Dilution of the science curriculum can happen anywhere. Sure, I’m currently homeschooling and private schooling but it’s entirely plausible and in fact likely that my children will go back to a public high school some day. I want a rigorous science curriculum.

So – hooray for the scientists who refuse to be defeated and hooray for our freedom of religion. It’s a victory for both today.